Saturday, 27 July 2013

11. A REFLECTION

School got increasingly interesting, this contributed me a gist to apply a routine to be punctual and disavowed my old hobby of skipping class. Every morning, I'll be at school fifteen minutes earlier. Although I never skipped breakfast at home, still, I would spend a little time in the cafeteria for a cup of coffee while waiting for the class to begin. I became more relaxed watching other students, scrutinizing their behaviour and the acts they create, the role they play. In point of fact, I was attempting to separate out the enigma behind the SMS that annoys me since over a month ago.

Every day, this person will send me a message but only once a day with no specific time. Sometimes, the SMS got in when I am at home, sometimes at school. If I receive it at school, the person always hinting that it is observing me, knowing where I am, who I am with, what I am doing. To me, it is a bit creepy. Sitting in the cafeteria every morning, I began to discern one by one who is likely to be the face of the mystery person. A guy or a girl, I hold no clue. It could be anyone. The school is big and we have many classes, many divisions… I don’t even recognize some teachers. In fact, I never noticed about Rina neither Sophia existence, not before they happened to teach in my class. 

When I text this unknown person, I get no reply. The same when I call, the person refuse to answer. I even tried to call using a public phone, still, the person seemed to know that it was me who called. ‘It’ just doesn’t have guts to speak to me. I did ask a few classmates, unfortunately, they also don’t have a clue. Checking on their contact list, the number is not listed. I made a point not to bother about the mystery, but every time I receive a message from the number, it made curious, mad and eager to find out who the person actually is.

Anyway, another issue that somewhat unsettling me was the dinner with Sophia. Sad but true, since the first day of school, that was the only time we spoke in person, besides the lecture. She didn’t text or call me and Saturday night like she has verbalized, turned into an eternal gap. It has been already three weeks since she invited me. When we met during her class, she didn’t speak anything about it. Perhaps she has forgotten or been busy, or it could be that the dinner is nothing important to her. I didn’t make an effort to ask, for I know it is not a smart idea showing my inquisitiveness. One way or another, she was the only one who made the call. If I were her, I wouldn’t do such a thing, for sure. 

The considerations made me ponder of Rina. Never once, she let me hang, instead, she always is there at the right time, anytime, without being asked, without a failure. Still and all, I convinced myself that it is not fair to bring Sophia into my judgement. I don’t really know her that well while Rina has spent some good times with me, in which I know her better through the quality times we used up. In addition, both of them possess different characteristics. Rina is Rina. Sophia is Sophia. They are two personalities. My brain told me to think positively and stop making a comparison between the teachers, so that was what I do.

I better be prepared for the coming test instead of filling my brain with frivolous things like that. Just like everyone else who occupied themselves for the midterm examination, I didn’t want to be left behind, eager to prove to one and all, especially my parents that I am improving. In fact, the examination this time is something I am waiting for, something I am zealous to face. Even though my schedule will be full, taking six subjects hasn't burdened me at all. 

The challenges turned into satisfaction at the utmost level. All these reforms have bounced me the impression of excellent affection. My life is getting more organised as I feel love is filling the air. Whether when I am alone, accompanied by Rina or Jacqui, or my little sisters, through the short telephone call with Andy, or even a simple conversation with my parents, I just feel the love and harmony. To be grateful for all of this, I never forget to thank God for blessing me with fine and beautiful people.

However, one morning, two days before the examination, when I was sitting in the cafeteria sipping my coffee, Sophia appeared and sat in front of me. Something that I had truly never expected. She smiled and greeted me good morning, so I welcomed her with a grin. I couldn’t deny, my heart soothed every time I see her face.

“Andrey, I know it’s been quite some time since I asked you for a dinner, but up until now, I still fail to make it. Was pretty busy lately, and last month was a disaster. I’m still keeping my words, though. Right after the examination, I promise, we will go out together. This is a guarantee.”
“Miss, don’t worry about it. We still have lots of tomorrows.” She chuckled when I said that and nodded.
“That's so sweet of you, Andrey. Thank you for your kind understanding. So, well prepared for the exam?” She asked softly. Her hand touched my hand without a trial. I was to some extent shocked, but, the blood ran to my feet when I saw Rina passing by with her eyes witnessing the scene. She threw me a little smile and walked away. Suddenly I woke up in a cold sweat. Sophia, on the other hand, didn’t spot the situation and keep her hand resting on mine.

“I will do my best, Miss.”
“You will be the star in my class, that’s for sure. I wish you the best of luck Andrey, and I can’t wait to spend an evening with you. See you in the lab.” She left me and I walked to my class with a question… Does the teacher feel what I feel?

“Hey Jacques, you look sleepy… you mugged up all night?” 
When I got into the classroom, Jacqui was already there, jotting her notebook, looking glum and sour.
“No, bro. Last night sucked badly. She dumped me.” Jacqui responded, half-hearted.

I looked at her face, thinking, even this butch brought out new inspiration to me. I become comfortable with her as time moves along and I do appreciate her talks. She could be loud and silly sometimes, but under that, there’s trustworthiness conveyed. Being with her, I learnt quite a new number of things I have never encountered before regarding friend and friendship, a social life I have been neglecting. She introduced me to a few new faces, well, mostly the lesbians in school. The only thing I don’t really like about her was her disregard concerning the study. Yea was some sort of me, but she is actually even worse than me. For the whole view, I like my new friend, Jacques, JacquiJaqueline Adam.

“Who? Amy?” I showed my concern.
“No, Rosy the bloody hell red lips.” I laughed.
“Yeah… do that, it helps. Thank you.” She said.
“Tell me what went wrong?”
“After I gave her multiple-mind-blowing orgasms last night, she said that’s for the last ‘cos she’s dating another butch. A dyke from school. Gary. You know her?”
“Gary… not really, but I guess that must be one of the seniors, upper six student if I’m not mistaken. A bit tall, dark? Always wearing sunglasses even at night, right?”
“Bingo. That’s the fucker.” She lifted her head up and looked at my face, eager.
“Ah, Jacqui… don’t bother. You can have any other chicks.” I patted her shoulder, try to comfort my disappointed new friend.
“I don’t bother about her, what I bother about is what she did to me. She shaved my pocket, she wasted my sweat, now she’s fucking another dyke. That’s unfair, bro.”
“You got her pussy.”
“Ah… she’s a real slut. But I will make her pay the price. What a bitch.” 
Her eyes staring outside.
“You’ll get some other pussy easily. But this time, don’t let anyone fools you again. Learn from the mistakes, brother.”
“The lion is coming.” She said. Immediately I became excited.
“Bro, you know what… I bet this lion must be extremely wild in bed. See her legs… you see? Those legs, see them carefully my friend… I tell you what… those legs can kick you up straight to heaven. Believe me,” said Jacqui, while pointing her forefingers at Rina’s legs who is stepping inside the class. 
We drew a big laugh. I don’t deny she has a pair of beautiful legs, beautiful eyes, she is drop-dead gorgeous in each and every way. I don’t know how true Jacqui’s estimation could be but, there’s one thing I am certain about, that even her kisses already flew me to the moon.

“Class, please keep in mind that the examination will include the last five syllabi. Today we’ll review the topics and I require your full attention. I am expecting the best this time. So, are you ready for a quiz?”
The whole class responded with a very happy face beside Jacqui. I heard her light sigh and groan.
“What quiz… who wants to be a millionaire?” Jacqui murmured, and as I told Andy during the camp, Rina has really sensitive ears.
“What did you just say?" Rina approached our desks. I took a glance at her and so did she. Her smell mesmerised my senses, God… I miss her smell.
“I said I want to be a millionaire, Miss.” Replied Jacqui. I chuckled to that reply. Rina leered at me and I read her mind.
“A millionaire? With what? Daddy’s properties?” She replied and walked back to the front of the classroom. Jacqui looked at me, mimetic Rina’s expression and then she whispered at me in a very low volume, to avoid being caught by Rina again.
“See, bro... Her butt is so fresh, a virgin, I swear. Gosh… this lion must have a very high sexual appetite.”
“Don’t say that, Jacques. Please respect, she is our teacher. I don’t bother if you want to do that to any other chicks, but not the teachers, any of them especially this one, understand? If I heard bullshit like this again, I wouldn’t give it a second thought to make your lips bleed like your slutty Rosy.” I warned her since I don’t like to hear someone saying things like that about Rina.
“Relax, bro, don’t be too serious. OK, OK, if you don’t like it, I don’t do it ever again. Swear.” She put her hand on her chest.
“I think you have a soft spot of this lion.” Jacqui never tired of talking.
“Yes, I do. Any problem?” She held her mouth with both hands and opened her eyes wide as if she tried to keep her big mouth shut from saying things like, “What the fuck.”
“Set up 4 groups. We will start the quiz now.”


Since I dropped her the note, we began to run through it almost every day, unless she has something to do at school. A new practice for me and Rina, we jog every afternoon. The activity offered a worthy impact. I feel healthier, so much happier. It set my mind to a new stage of thinking, a new spirit, new feeling, and the positivity I have been searching for. Rina is contented with the transformation. Thinking back to what had happened a few months ago, or years back, I slowly see the real person in me.

Almost a month, Rina and I jog in the park every five in the afternoon. Sometimes we run at the lake too. Occasionally, she picked me up and from time to time I gladly carried the task. Since she enjoys riding a motorbike, I love to take her for a ride. To use a chance holding her tightly from behind, she is happy when I let her take the lead. I feel innocently cheery every time we meet. I can see that she feels the same way too, I can tell from her eyes. These changes have shifted me to become more enthusiastic. I honestly love to spend every afternoon with her, doing recreational activities together, making some sweat in a healthy way while changing ideas. 

From time to time she talks about economics and school. She was never exhausted to give me advice about the most important key in the subject, which part I should pay more attention and what the next topic is. Every so often, she prefers to keep the school away and lead us both in appreciating nature. Talking about life, love, adventure, future, we share almost every interpretation. I never bushed listening to her songs. But that afternoon, another theme came out.

“What was with Sophia this morning?” By some means, it has been predicted that this question will be one of her topics that afternoon. I was not surprised.
“She invited me to dinner.” Looking at her face, I answered without trying to hide anything but to hear the echo of my reply.
“Wow… dinner with a hot teacher… I see and for that reason, she also needed to offer touch on your hand? That’s what you are waiting for, right?” Rina sent me a pair of question.
“To tell you the truth, actually she invited me on the first day of the term. That day she asked for my number too but she never called. Not even once. The invitation is pending until this morning, she came to me to apologise for hanging it too long, was busy she said.”
AhhhI see, what an explanation,” said Rina and sat on the grass. I tailed her.
“It's for returning my lunch treat, as she told me, that’s all.” 
Rina looked deeply into my face, biting her lower lip. Her right hand combing her hair behind. She narrowed her eyes. Under the sunlight that began to set, her face glowed with a little sweat over her hairline. I love how she looks. So beautiful. Beautiful…

“Do you know what jealousy means and how it feels?” I shook my head and made a request like she always does, “define.” 
She grinned and took my hand to join hers in a firm warm grip.
“When the heart refuses to see what the brain is trying to show, it feels like a volcano about to burst.” She smiled, showing her nice set of pearly white teeth. I would kiss that fresh sexy smile all day if she allows me.
“You are full of art and philosophies.”
“Are you happy to spend an evening with her?”
“I don’t know, Rina… all I know is I don’t expect anything, even if she would forget again or giving an excuse, it doesn’t matter to me.”
“How do you feel about Sophia, honestly?”
“I like her. She is a good teacher, soft. Never threw chalk at my face.” 
I deliberately teased her. She laughed and said, “I guess you've started learning to catch.”
“I believe, there'll be no more chalk to waste.” 

Momentarily, she threw her sight to the open lake while straightening her legs, relaxing herself. Observing her face, I contemplate what she is pondering. I'm eagerly waiting for the next verses.
“I hope you enjoy the dinner hon, but, keep in mind that the best is with me.” 
I kissed her cheek and said, “how can I forget?” 
“Rina, there’s another thing I should share with you.” 
I handed her my PDA. “Read those messages.”
“The same numberthe same person for sure… have you any idea whose job is this?” I shook my head.
“It’s a bit scary you know, seems like this person is observing me at any angle of the school.”
“You are hot, hon… someone is keeping track on you.” 
She chuckled and gave back the phone to me.
“Hmm, leave me the number. Maybe I can help you to find out who this person is. It might not be serious or dangerous, but who knows… psychopaths are everywhere these days.” I agreed and obeyed her. At least I feel relieved that someone knows about it. Someone I trust. Someone who loves me.

Before I send her home after the run, Rina treated me a light dinner. When I got home, as usual, my big house is quiet. I went straight to my bedroom and cleaned up. Afterwards, I went downstairs to the dining hall to see what’s going on there. Usually, my two little sisters will have their dinner alone when dad and mom are not around, so I do a little talk with them. If mum and dad are available, they will hold me for a few minutes checking out my days. Generally, we have a small conversation. After that, I go back to my room and focusing a few hours on finishing my homework and doing some revisions before I put myself to bed and be ready to start the next day. 

And as a rule of thumb, Rina and I will say goodnight to complete a great day, fit to start another precious one. Either I or she, one of us will make the call. That was another change in me, inwardly as well as in my daily life, outwardly. Not totally but decidedly. Thinking back to the previous months, after school, I wasted my time hanging out alone at the lake, wasting the energy till sunset, doing nothing but musing around thinking about uncertain things. Now with all the motivations, after school, I will go straight home, having my lunch, take a nice siesta, wake up at four-thirty, and fetch my Rina, jogging and so on. I love my new routine.


The examination went on very smoothly. With confidence in all the intensity carried with certainty, I answered every question carefully. Papers after papers, I got the feeling that I will kick the best score this time. And after that, only a few months ahead, we will sit our trial examination for the A’ Level. My next focus, my next aim.

Sophia approached me in the parking lot when I was already on my motorbike, set to go home.
“Andrey, how were the papers?”
“Great, Miss. It's worth the revisions. I believe, I made it so much better this time.”
“I don’t doubt, you are improving. Rina spoke about it too. I’m very happy, Andrey. Congratulation.” Rina's name overwhelmed me. Feelings of melancholy and longing suddenly struck my heart.
“Thank you, Miss.”
“Tomorrow at eight, is it alright?”
“Dinner?” She nodded.
“Oh… tomorrow, I can’t, Miss. I’m really sorry.”
“Have another date?” Her expression changed, she frowned.
“Hmm, family matter. I am really sorry. I should have informed you in advance.” I lied. Tomorrow, is the 9th of July, Saturday. Rina’s birthday will be on Sunday, the 10th. I don’t want to miss her birthday and I intended to spend Saturday night with her. Rina’s birthday is my priority. We didn’t make a date, not even speaking about it, but somehow I know, it will be another dinner date for us and this time the date is on me. I want to make it a surprise and I want to present the best for my Rina.
“Too badhmmm, maybe the next Saturday?”
“That would be perfect. I am really sorry about it Miss.”
“Don’t worry, we have lots of tomorrows.” She said. I tried to read her facial expression but it left no reaction. 

Right after we said 'see you', a message came into my mailbox.
“I wonder what the teacher wants from you. I’ll find out.” I tried to call the number, but then again it refused my call, compelling me to send another message, but in vain, no reply. I am tired of this shit. Really. This person is completely sick or mentally retarded or just plain stupid. When it refused my calls and denied to answer my messages, what more can I do? I began to think about changing my phone number if this continues. If the person came to me and speak out the intention, I would consider to listen but not this way. Only a psychopath likes to play games like this.


My mum and dad were sitting by the swimming pool when I got home. I went straight to them to say hi and gave them a hug. They looked delighted, must be in a good mood, I supposed.

“Andrey, my son… oh sorry my daughter,” said my dad, cracking a joke or he didn’t mean it, I was not sure, but he put his hand around my shoulder as he led me to sit next to him.
“How’s school? Are you happy with the bike?”
“Excellent, sir. The bike also superb.” He nodded and said, “good, that’s what I expected to hear.”
“Andrey, this evening we will have dinner outside. Too bad, Adrian is not with us, but I want my children to be with me, for your mum and I have been very busy lately and spent no time with all of you. Do you have tuition tonight?”
“No, sir.”
“Your dad has been awarded another advanced of degree. That’s why he is in a good mood.” My mum cleaned up the clutter in my head.
“Congratulation, dad. I am so proud of you.” I came to him and gave him another hug also a kiss on the cheek.
“I want you to make us proud too, Adriana. I hold your words, remember?”
“You won’t regret it, sir,” I assured him with full of confidence and faith.

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